The less good girl I get, the better it gets.

The journey we live on this earthly plane is to embody all parts of ourselves fully. The queen and the princess, the witch and the maiden, the warrior and the healer, the child and the mother, the sister and the bitch, the evil and the sage. The wounded and the invincible.

Growth is uncomfortable honesty, evolution is raw truth. Are you projecting your dramas, your struggles, your obstacles outwards onto the other, that man, that situation, that trauma, that past story – or are you taking on radical self-responsibility and owning the ways in which you are standing in your own way?

Seeing how you are holding yourself back from tapping into your full potential by playing small, by being complacent, by swallowing your bitter words of truth – ultimately intoxicating yourself, wrenching on your insides, eating you up from within. How we are hurting ourselves by recreating that never-ending story of the trophy for the winner, the angel instead of the sinner.

Your tongue laced to the back of your mouth, out of fear to be judged, to be placed on a shelf or in a box, to be expelled and abandoned, to end up dying alone… All built upon the limiting illusion that you yourself are separate, weak, vulnerable, not good enough…?

How you are perpetuating the story of needing someone else to see you, to hear you, to acknowledge you, to value you, to save you. When in the end, you are not fully seeing & showing yourself from within, on the outside.

How you are (re)creating the story of a woman on the lower rank needing a man on a pedestal to show her the way. To lead her, to dominate her, to possess her. To run into the forest with a machete, cut down all the trees, clear a space for her to prepare the fertile ground, to prepare, tend to & care for the garden… To then run around screaming that he planted a seed.

Can you see how much of the love you are feeling between you and them is actually the love you carry within yourself? Can you acknowledge how the affection & attention you are seeking on the outside is actually a cry to be accepted fully within yourself?

That you are continuing the drama of the lost woman in a tower, waiting to be found by prince charming on a white horse, to give her life meaning, purpose, direction? When in reality, she is leaving behind her own purpose to serve his… to serve him instead of it all?

Like pouring water into the desert which is our patriarchal society deprived of vitality and fertility, wasting the source of life itself.

Like trying to fill cracks and hollow spaces in a crumbling wall with cotton candy instead of tearing the wreckage down and rebuilding it on stable ground.

Like locking up a bird in a cage in order for others to admire its beauty, quietness, tranquility or soft voice, all while telling yourself quietly it is probably good like this, lucky to be safe, to be comfortable…

In which ways are you shifting all your energy, attention, time & love to the fulfillment of another’s dream?

Why are you so afraid to step into your full power?

Have you integrated the voices of the confused giants, the wounded elders that told you you need to be a certain way in order to be valued or loved? The hissing whispers trying to convince you that this is how it is supposed to be, how it has always been?

The men that told the girl it was better, safer, more desired to always be smiling, agreeable, a “good girl”?

Shake off the shackles of shame and wake up to the realization it is their fear you are carrying. You are creating the reality of this toxic battlefield of energies by feeling like needing to be complacent to their intimidation.

It is their guilt, their lack of integrity, their anger you feel. Their hatred towards an infinite power that is HER connection to creation, to source itself. That you have cut yourself off from by wanting to belong, to be attached, to be (with) HIM.

How we have compromised and molded and merged ourselves into a structure that tortures and amputates us of our wisdom and strength, first by necessity and then for comfort – and ultimately always out of fear.

The ultimate universal fear of death – masculine side pushing to procreate, to sustain their genes and family line, to rule and overrule – feminine side obeying, bowing their head to the illusion of love as a sacrifice.

When we interpret the survival of the fittest in a sense of domination and fight instead of collaboration and adaptation. We go down a slippery slope, spiraling downwards while the most aggressive, most cruel one gets to procreate. In infinite envy to not be able to create, he destroys. An action without alternatives.

But this is not about woman or man, them against us. This is about injecting the feminine back into a world that is strangled by the toxic wounded masculine. Scratched egos, blind competivity, hierarchies, oppression, exploitation and greed.

The sickness of a society that has turned their backs against their mother, in blood and flesh, in earth and water.

The suffering of a world that is fighting against the ground it is standing on.

The cries of a lost boy searching for his mother after he bit her breast in a rush of violence and despair.

Nurture this pain. Heal this wound. Return to the compassion. With yourself. In yourself. For yourself. 

Take the sword and cut off everything that is not serving your purpose right now.

Because this is the purpose of all women, all men, all humans on this planet. And a question of survival for all life on Earth.

And if this means to be a „bad girl“, so be it.