The only way through is in.

And the only way out is through.

If you keep turning away from what seems to painful or frightening to face, you are perpetuating the cycle. You are letting yourself be defined by what you do not want to see, don’t want to integrate, want to distance yourself from.

If you keep running, you keep sending the signal that what you are trying to get away from is bigger or more powerful than you.

This is an illusion.
Fear-based thought patterns or limiting beliefs stem from a part in you that has once felt powerless, or abandoned, or worthless - and deep down afraid to die. For this one part, the danger is still very real, and back then you might have not had the necessary resources to confront it. Thus, your actions stemming out of avoidance or anxiety seem the only viable option. To adapt and compromise.

I want to remind you this is only one part out of many. And that there is an ally inside of you that can show you the way out. If you decide to give them the power and attention they deserve. It is not about making one part less important or valid than others - it is about consciously deciding which one you are letting rule the narrative. Which reality you create.

Lay out a map to make graspable for your mind that you are capable enough of steering out of what seems to be a dangerous or frightening situation. Acknowledge where you stand now, how far you have already come, and where in your body you feel the strength to continue.

Little steps, one by one, make up a long journey.

I know this can be hard and feel impossible at times. Be gentle and compassionate towards that voice inside you that tells you that you are not strong or willing enough. We are in this struggle together. You are not alone.

In the end, we can’t do this on our own because the wound of separation and loneliness is the core trauma of our civilization.
The disconnection from a tribe, from our natural surroundings, so often encaged in a box of fixed identity, persona, career, masks, ideologies and dogmas. This burden is too heavy to carry as a single separate individual.
And fortunately, we are never separate.

To allow this feeling of connection, togetherness and loving support is one of the core elements of our encounters.

To enable and open up to a discourse between the different parts in ourselves. Discoursing is dialogue - laying out the patterns of identification and changing our subjective interpretations. Much like thinking, when you are exchanging ideas and options in your own mind - dialogue enables us to be reflected in the other, and realize we are the same. Even in our contradictions, to get a hold of our own values, wishes and desires, by noticing how, where and why we respond in a certain way. Reflecting itself is internalized dialogue.

A true honest reflective mirror is the better “thinking it through”.

Allowing the discourse to modify our stories.
Allowing a deep connection to heal our wound of separation. Integrating all the parts of our self to find a sense of balance, peace and oneness with our surroundings, other people and the Earth.

In this modern world, loneliness is not only proximal.

For so long, being human meant to come together and share around a fire. Sharing the food we hunted, giving thanks, sharing songs and stories of survival and hopes and dreams. Sharing life.

We have created the digital experiment to be able to sit around a fire and share intellectual conversations with people at the other side of the world, but our bodies are longing for true connection. It is possible to be emotionally lonely while being 2 inches away from someone. It is possible to feel all alone in a crowd of people. It is possible to not have any true encounter while being surrounded by other humans.

This is the drama of dis-embodiment.
To be “connected” in a virtual realm, seeing bodiless faces on a screen, not feeling ourselves when not projected into and recognized in some kind of “social” sphere. Embodiment is the antidote to separation.

Feeling alone in a crowded room has a physiological and spiritual cause. Feeling lonely points to some part in us having been left behind or still licking its wounds of early abandonment. Whether physical or emotional, to be seen and heard and held in the now with all there is - is what we all need and deserve.

Especially when have we pathologized being of service for someone or having our real needs heard or met.

When have we started seeing and presenting ourself as a burden - rather clicking a button on a smartphone to have some stranger pick us up and be with them in silence than asking a friend to drive us to the airport. Rather ordering groceries bought by an almost modern-day-slave to your door when sick in bed instead of asking someone for support.
That is when the value of honest vulnerable connection comes into play.

Allow yourself to show your true colors.
Allow yourself to come back to yourself.