YOU ARE NOT SICK.

The society in which you were born into is.

The conditions and programs that were implanted into your mind and body are.

There is nothing wrong with you. Everything is wrong with the way in which you were brought up, to shrink yourself, to bend and mold yourself into forms you never should fit into. To try and struggle to squeeze yourself into unattainable ideals. To put on societal corsets which take way not only your breath, but your empowerment and freedom. It is a slow death, to strip away your uniqueness and incomparable genius in order to please or soothe the wounded egos or broken dreams of the people around you.

You do not need to sacrifice your individuality. You in no way and under no circumstances ever have to „try harder“, to „kill your ego“ or to swallow your truth in order to belong. Any surrounding which is asking you to become less of yourself, was never yours to stay in the first place.

This is for all the women who are sick and tired, angry and disgusted by the way in which they have been taught to cut their wings. To sacrifice their true nature for plastified ideals of the horrifying death cult which is sold to us as „modern culture“.

This is for every woman who has forgotten a part of herself by trying to fit in, to be accepted, to be acknowledged, to be loved.

This is for all the „good girls“, the „angels“, who have fallen on their knees once too often in order to try and please the ones who have no love in their hearts to give to themselves in the first place. It is not your fault, neither your responsibility, nor your mission to fill a bottomless pit.

You came here in order to find, to express, to nurture and to share your true authentic Self. And to bridge the gaps which have been ripped into the tapestry of life by disconnecting women from their hearts, their core, their bodies. The wars which are waged against the bodies of women is the war which is fought against the Earth body. And it is our sacred responsibility to bring peace by embodying ourselves to the fullest.

It is our divine right and task to take back our power and pour all the energy, love and attention we have been given to the conditioned men of this society to ourselves.

And this is not to say these men are not worthy of love. But more often than not, they are part of the problem, and that is not their fault.

He is not just an individual, he is imbedded inside of an entire abusive system, and she is now a pawn of that system. This sick system is feeding off of her lack of boundaries, low self worth, and how easy she is to persuade, manipulate, and control. She is energetic food for the beast. But the fact of this is not her fault, as nearly every spiritual tradition in the West is centered around dissolving one’s ego, letting go of one’s personality. Which in itself might be a humble ideal, but many women never have healthy egos to begin with. And so she dissolves and dissolves until she is a fractured, fragmented feeble girl with no healthy, solid definition of herself or of reality.

BeCAuSe WhO NeEdS a SeLf, RiGhT? WhAt EvEn iS ThE “SeLf,” AnYwAYS????

Thus, she is susceptible and vulnerable to snakes, liars, and thieves robbing her of her most precious resource: her individuality, her heart, her Soul.

And so she continues to try and think her way out of her symptoms. To rationalize herself into being responsible and not a victim.

She will force herself to meditate harder, to try and be more feminine, to be softer, pray more, surrender to God/The Universe, surrender to her abuser, open her heart more, “forgive, forgive, forgive”.

Because she was never taught to have a healthy ego, instead she existed in churches, circles and spiritual groups that preach “less of you, more of God!” or about “surrendering to the Universe.”

That sounds intriguing and all – and yes, when one’s darkness and light is integrated, fuck yeah. More God! Surrender at Will! 

But when the “God” and “Universe” these people are talking about are direct imitations of The Patriarchal, Toxic, Parasitic Dominator Consciousness that gains power from controlling and oppressing others, that sees the feminine Shakti as fuel for its own gain, and that come hell or highwater cannot for the live of them surrender to their own pain or sorrow or inherent vulnerability and instead believe they can control everything – (including rewriting their history of abuse) in their reality with their own minds – these statements further the damage, and are dangerous to women whose spiritual practice revolves around dissolving their ego.

Mark my words: spiritual by-passers who are all Love and Light – look at their most intimate partners. I guarantee they have ingested the un-metabolized darkness of their abusers – unbeknownst to them. Unreflected light will always be paired with shadows, just like the lamp always attracts the moths. And it is our duty and power to be aware of that. To stand strong in our light, to be rooted in our integrity and embody our boundaries with fierce compassion and sharpness.

Further, the idea that “we’re all one” or that “what exists in another exists inside of me” sets the egoless woman up to not know her enemies, or to not even believe that she even has enemies in the first place.

This naivety has her practicing forgiveness, unconditional love, and compassion to people who don’t even deserve to exist in the same room as her, let alone receive ANY access to her sacred energy.

If you are a woman who is angry at the way you have been taught to be egoless, and are sick of the spiritual bypassing cesspool, the paralyzing echo chambers of Love and Light – good.

This anger is not a sign that you need to regulate your nervous system, or pray/meditate away its manifestation.

This rage is a sign that you are a human being, that you are coming alive, and that you have the right to exist as YOU wish. That your boundaries, your spiritual principles, your healthy ego, your reality, your physical & emotional integrity, your story, are holy matters worth protecting against the very real enemies, snakes, and harmful bastards that want to steal, kill, and destroy.

You don’t need less of an ego.

You need to build a healthy one.